103 Ways to Make Love Last: Set Goals Together

| October 8, 2012

I remember reading greeting cards that I received for my wedding and someone wrote “Hope you guys accomplish great things together!” That stuck with me. At first, I didn’t know what to make of it. At the time, I was clear about what I wanted to accomplish as an individual, I had a general idea about my husband’s dreams, I knew we wanted to have a family and make a good life for ourselves but beyond that everything was fuzzy. I just hadn’t thought that far out yet.

I am a planner by nature so I had learned the power of goal-setting but doing it as a couple was a whole different story. In the beginning, we reacted to things a lot and over time we learned to budget and plan ahead. Of course there are situations where you feel like there’s no need to plan ahead because the resources just aren’t there in the first place.

However, research shows that when you have a plan, you have a significantly better chance of accomplishing it. Setting goals together will definitely give you a better shot of realizing them. If you don’t know where to start, I would suggest making a wish list. To me, it is a kinder and gentler version of the corporate term “brainstorming,” which can sound chaotic and like ‘way too much work.’ Once you have your wish list, take a break and let it percolate for a while (you decide how long) but not longer than three months. Next, decide what’s agreeable, realistic and doable. Then you can add dates and do a further breakdown into action steps and who’s responsible for what and when.

When done well (that is when everyone participates fully) the benefits of goal setting together can be rewarding—improved goal-setting skills, better partnership, stronger bond, pride in accomplishing together and a better future.

I am eternally grateful for that note my wedding greeting card because it continues to inspire me after all these years. Beware what you write in a greeting card. It might turn out to be a source of inspiration for a lifetime!

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Rita Apaloo

Rita Apaloo

Rita Apaloo is just a regular gal always trying to connect the dots to discover the deeper meaning of things. Sometimes it all comes together--and goodness gracious, does it feel good when that happens! She is the founder of African Women Connect and author of the blog 103 Ways to Make Love Last: Tried and True Strategies. She is also a wife and mother.

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