Becoming Ready for Marriage

| September 10, 2012

Wedding season is still hovering around as we make our way into the fall season and brides are making final arrangements towards the walk down the aisle before the cold weather sets in. And while many of them might be wrongly focused on what happens after the dress comes off, the last guest goes home and the honeymoon is over, it is not too late for you if you are yet to take that plunge. To help you be better prepared and well packed for your new journey, here are a few things to think about to help you discover whether you are really ready for marriage or just ready to throw a big party that will be the talk of the century.

Marriage is a Lifelong Commitment: You are making a lifelong commitment to another human being who has most likely lived a life and grown up in a way entirely different from yours. You will have to make a lot of adjustments and changes.

Marriage Requires Maturity: And readiness on the part of both partners. It is therefore wise to heed popular advice and: “do not rush into marriage!” This is going to be one of the most important decisions you ever make in your life. How you choose can determine your mental and emotional state for the rest of your life, or for a very long time.

Marriage Requires Sacrifice: Some sacrifices you may not yet be ready to make. So think twice before saying “yes” to marriage, especially if you don’t think you can be self-sacrificing without feeling resentful someday. It is important for you to know yourself and also know your priorities. What are you willing to give up and what will require a little kicking and screaming on your part? Until you are willing to be true to yourself, you are not ready to be married.

Marriage and Sex Go Hand-In-Hand: So stay away from marriage if you don’t enjoy sex or if the thought of sex creeps you out. Sex matters in marriage. Don’t for one second think otherwise. And yes, that means “doing it” even at times when you have a headache. It is the glue – among other things – that will hold your marriage together. How you use it can either tear you apart or keep you together.

Marriage Won’t Solve Your Problems: That’s your personal responsibility – not your spouses. So, if you’re getting married to solve your personal problems then you are in for the shock of your life. If you’re insecure, marriage won’t help make you feel confident. And if you don’t love yourself, marriage won’t help you love yourself any more than you already do. And if he’s already cheating on you, marriage won’t make him stop.

Marriage Won’t Be all You Ever Have: So keep in touch with your friends and family, especially during the period of courtship. In the moments when you’re feeling down, or simply need to remain sane in your marriage, your family and friends will be all you have left to keep you going. Treat them with kindness while you still can and keep in touch.

Marriage Will Definitely Change You: Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise. Especially, once the children come into the picture. You’ll need to learn skills you never had to learn before – such as time management skills, culinary skills, acting skills, coping skills, nursing skills and a host of others. It is true what they say: wives and moms wear many hats.

Marriage Will Affect Your Lifestyle: If you’re used to vacationing twice a year on the spur of the moment, know that once you’re married, depending on who you marry, you will need to make some adjustments. Vacations may have to take a backseat to the mortgage and funding other marital projects and may need to be scheduled years in advance. Yes, years!

Marriage Will Teach You How to Fight Fair: Conflict in a marital relationship is different from the kinds of conflicts you experience with your family and friends. So if you’re in the habit of cutting off people who offend you as a way to deal with conflict, know that you can’t cut off your spouse – unless you’re heading to divorce court. And even then… .

Marriage Will Either Make You or Break You: Depending on whom you marry and how well you’re able to relate to each other your attitude and perception of the opposite sex will change. Ask any man or woman who is still resentful about his/her divorce, and can’t stand people of the opposite sex, and you’ll understand this point. In the same way, a good marriage will strengthen you; a bad marriage will leave you completely broken.

Don’t go into this serious, lifelong commitment for the wrong reasons or lightly. Think carefully before you take that leap. Your very life depends on it! Happy wedding planning and happy life ahead – hopefully!

ALSO, READ:  five things to ask yourself before you say “I Do.”

Share your thoughts on this article below. AFRIKAN GODDESS MAGAZINE would love to hear from you.

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AFRIKAN GODDESS MAGAZINE is a subsidiary of Afrikan Goddess Media, LLC. Our content is designed with the educated, professional, classy, charming and sassy African woman in mind. We encourage women to express their creativity and ideas through writing, and also serve as a platform for meaningful discussions and exchange of ideas.

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Comments (2)

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  1. Brian O says:

    You have said nothing but the truth! Marriage is very serious business and not too many people are giving it the consideration it deserves these days. This is indeed food for thought for those who have not yet taken that leap. For some of us, it is too late.

  2. S. Adjei says:

    Great article! It hits on some very good points, especially that part about lifestyle change. It was a shock for me and I am still trying to get used to it. Sometimes when i remember the things I used to be able to do as a single woman that I can no longer to I actually shed tears. Thanks for writing this. Some of us could have used this sooner.