Legit Deal Breakers, Or Just Trivial Stuff?

| March 7, 2012

If only there was such a thing as a perfect human being, we’d all be one; but most importantly, we’d also be with one. Fortunately, there is such a thing as close to perfection and if he happens to be on your radar, you might want to consider whether those little things about him are really deal breakers or just trivial issues that can be overcome. So, what should and shouldn’t you overlook when it comes to relationships. Here are just a few:

You Make More Money than He Does: Money should never be the measure for the potential of a great relationship, and yet, for many women, it is. Christine found out the hard way when she left Ralph to be with Eric, because Eric earned more money than her and drove a fancy car, that life (or should I say romance/love) is more than what is on the outside. Unless a man is just plain lazy, it is unfair to write him off based on his current earnings. Eric is now doing quite well for himself. His business has picked up, and he is now an employer with growth potential. Had Christine been patient and not so materialistic, she would have seen his earning potential beyond the present. Need I say men admire a woman who stands by them through the tough times? It assures them of your commitment and loyalty. Never give a man reason to suspect that you are only in it for financial gain.

He Doesn’t Give You Butterflies: Love at first sight is great. It seems like the best romantic story ever told. It hasn’t happened to me yet, so I’m beginning to think that it’s just that; a romantic story with no in-between, and no end. Have you ever wondered why those stories usually end with “and they lived happily ever after”? Maybe it’s because if the story were to go on from “after they rode off into the sunset,” we would be revealed to the nastiness of the rest of that relationship. Research has shown that couples who claim they were not initially attracted to their spouses tend to have stronger loving relationships later on. That’s because it takes a lot to talk yourself into loving someone whether you feel butterflies when they kiss you, or not. Instead, focus on their positives and begin to see the core of their being, what’s deep inside their heart, instead of focusing on what you see on the surface – that could potentially blind you to the nastiness of their core. Give the butterflies time. You don’t have to feel it on the first or second or even the third date. If after a few more dates, you still don’t feel it, then maybe its time to walk away. Just know that the problem is you, especially if he’s a really great guy!

He Has A Child Or Was Once Married: These are deal breakers for a lot of us, for various reasons – maybe some of them might even be legit. No woman wants to have to deal with the drama of an ex-wife, baby mama, resentful child, or a dead wife. Yes, even the dead wives can sometimes be trouble depending on the “former” bond between the two, and how much it broke his heart to lose her so soon. You will always be compared to her and may be led to feel as if you lack something. It can be too hard to deal with at times, but it should not be a deal breaker unless he’s telling you to your face that a dead woman is better than you. Then he’s the one with the problem and you need to look elsewhere.

He Has an Unlawful Past: Well, this one can be somewhat tricky, depending on the crime. Was he arrested for a speeding ticket he never paid, for stealing, or for murder? It’s up to you and what you can handle. All I know is that there is an unlawful past, and then there is an “UNLAWFUL PAST”.

He Curses At You And Is Disrespectful to You: Run for your life! You don’t even have to think twice about this one. If you even have to stop and think this one over, or be tempted to say this is not a deal breaker; then you have bigger issues than he does – in which case, you might both want to seek professional mental health or check your self-esteem.

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