He left me for another woman, then he married her. He thought he had been smart only to find out three months after his marriage to the other woman that she was incapable of having babies because of an abortion she had during high school. Now he says he wants me back and is promising me marriage. He wants to divorce her and marry me; the same woman who was once not good enough for him. Indeed “life is someway”.
My name is Abena. I would describe myself as a pretty, easy going, fun loving, and adventurous young woman. In fact, I have had a lot of men say to me that I am every man’s kind of woman. So why am I still single, I sometimes ask? Anyway, a few years back I met and fell in love with a very promising, ambitious, serious-minded, fine young gentleman. I don’t regret dating him because I had never felt loved by a man the way his love made me feel. I could have sworn on my life that I was the only woman in his life.
Two years into a relationship that made others envious, my heart was crushed and my whole life came to a halt when news reached me that the one true happiness in my life was getting married to another woman. The wedding was in three days and I had no idea it was in the works. I was completely blind-sided. Gosh, I am a very strong woman because the way the news hit me; I should not still be here. It hit me so hard I felt it in my very soul. Not to bore you with the details of my subsequent heartbreak, but all I can say is I could have lost my mind as a result of the shocking news.
I survived his wedding day with the help of family and friends. And three days afterwards I felt like I was in hell. He kept calling me – night and day, but I refused to talk to him. He said he wanted to explain what happened. I did not want to hear of it. I was hurting.
Two weeks passed by before I agreed to meet with him. Curiosity got the better part of me. I wanted to know, not that it would have made a difference. He at least owed me that much. With the help of my friend I agreed to meet up with him. If there was some way I could forgive him and move on with my life, maybe this would be it. I needed my peace of mind. We met and I could not believe his reason. Trust me; you don’t want to know what it was. Okay, let me just give you a little gist. It had to do with something from my past which he claimed his family just couldn’t let go of; something he swore to me would never come between the two of us. To cut a long story short, he had to marry someone else just to please his family.
Life went on after that meeting with him. Of course I was hurt, but I had to move on. Two months after his wedding, he called and begged to see me. He said he needed someone to talk to. Honestly, I don’t know why I went to meet up with him. They say there is a thin line between love and hate. I guess that’s true because with him as hard as I tried to, I just couldn’t hate him. Instead, I felt sorry for him. He broke down in tears he saw me. He said God was punishing him for the way he had treated me and now he wanted me to forgive him. He said his wife was incapable of getting pregnant because of an abortion she had in high school. I felt so sorry for him, but most especially for his wife. I told him to take her to a fertility clinic and to be prayerful about it and that is where our new friendship began.
We became close again and related to each other as nothing had changed. My friends couldn’t believe what I was doing. All I could tell them was that I was destined to be with him. I loved him more than I had two years before. With time, I didn’t even care that he was married.
This went on for six months until one day; it hit me that I couldn’t go on like this. I couldn’t be his mistress anymore. I wanted a man I could call my own. I told him what I was feeling, and he was devastated. He asked me not to leave him, and he promised to do anything I wanted if only I stayed with him, so I asked him to marry me. That meant two things: either he divorced his wife or we would elope. Of course, he chose the easy way out! He wanted us to elope, and so we did.
Life was like a fairy tale from then on. We lived as husband and wife in a foreign country far away from home. Six months later, I found out I was pregnant. He rejoiced at the news and not too long thereafter, he gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He was overjoyed! And so was I!
Two years after we eloped, I got tired of our live far away from the rest of our families. I was tired of living in isolation even though we were still living our dream life far away from everything. I wanted to go home, and he did not hesitate when I brought it up, so we packed our belongings and headed for home, sure that our families were ready to forgive us for what we had done. He was to divorce his wife the moment we returned home because I said that was the only condition under which I could see myself living with him and my son. He agreed, and we headed home.
Four months after we returned home, he painfully divorced his wife, compensating her with the house they had lived in. She thought he would come to his senses and come back to her upon our return home.
Later, he bought us a new house, and I landed myself a very successful job and enrolled my son in one of the best private schools.
Now, you may be wondering why I keep making reference to “my son,” and not, “our son”. That’s because he is my son. I may not be as stupid as you initially thought, but I am definitely going to turn out to be just as vindictive as you are beginning to think I am. See, men get away with too much because we women let them. We allow them to walk all over us, then they leave and when they come back we’re usually just there waiting for them. Oh no, not me. I had other plans for the love of my life!
After his divorce, he asked us to officially get married, but I said no. I just couldn’t possibly love him after what he put me through! He took my heart and shattered it to pieces. He had no respect for me or he would have faced me like a man and told me it was over between us and he was getting married to someone else. Instead, I had to hear of his marriage on the streets and have him crawling back to me after he had married his “good girl” who turned out to be ten times worse than he thought I was.
The son he thought was his wasn’t even his. I was already pregnant before we eloped. He just did enough to be convinced the child was his. I couldn’t wait to rub his face in his own mess. He no longer had his barren wife, and I would one day walk away with the one shot he thought he had at having an heir; along with everything else I had acquired – a fabulous job and a marvelous house on the hills.